I am my own Fag

Hey there beautiful babies,
So the other night I was sitting around with my girlfriends, except they're all men, watching the good ole Will and Grace

And I thought, "Jeepers this show is funny! I never really got into it you know, cause the whole dynamic was a little too close to home."

One of my besties replied, "What you're the hopeless single girl hag in love with a fag?"

And then it hit me I AM MY OWN FAG. Cause there ain't nothing haggy about me!:
I do not have low self esteem,
I will not go with you to eat fast food as "our little secret"
I do not wear flip flops in mid winter in other peoples houses
I am not your friend so that I can vicariously live through your sexual experiences with men because I'm too afraid to have my own.
I do not live in an ll year old princess fantasy.
And finally -- I can do my own hair (kind of)

Really what I mean is I'm way too fabulous to be sidekick girl, cause I'm all about taking center stage and we know they put the fat girls up stage right. I've got the sashay and sauce of Bette, but the same killer looks and amazing ability to attract hetero men Angelina Jolie.